Sunday, April 23, 2006

Delta Dawn, What's That Flower You Have On...

When I was a kid I thought Delta Dawn was a big, red dinosaur. A Tyrannosaurus Rex. It was all the fault of Chris and Johnny Boland. The Bolands lived in Bolton. Maxine, their mom, was a friend of my mom's. George, the dad, had gone through some fucked up shit because of diabetes. He was blind and lost his kidneys, so he required daily dialysis. Maxine cared for George with the patience of a saint, or at least it seemed like it to me as a kid looking in. Even more incredible, she filled the time while she cared for George by making some great stuffed animals: Teddy Bears, bean bag frogs, and more. She sewed them all, stuffed and sold them for additional income. She was gifted, they were really cool stuffed animals! I remember they also had animals of the living variety roaming around the place: geese, a dog, rabbits... and I think I remember them having horses and a horse barn out back, until that got to be too much.
So one night, I'm over there with my mom, and Chris and John were playing with one of those slide show/record player combos they used to make back in the 70s, the Show 'n Tell player. You feed a cardboard mounted strip of slides into the top of the viewer, next to the turntable. While the turntable spins, the slide strip feeds through the viewer and the pictures are projected on a screen beneath the turntable. The two of them fed some dinosaur slide strip in, but instead of the show 'n tell record for that strip, they put on the Helen Reddy single "Delta Dawn" (#1 for 1 week in 1973), and while it played, the screen showed pictures of a giant, red T Rex rampaging through the jungle.I was a gullible youngster, around eight or so. I kept asking them, are you sure that's the right record and strip? Which one's "Delta Dawn"? The red one? Really? Are you sure? Can you play it again? I left there certain that Delta Dawn was a Red, T Rex dinosaur. Thanks to John and Chris Boland, "Delta Dawn" and dinosaurs are inextricably linked in my mind...

Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on?
Could it be a faded rose from days gone by?
And did I hear you say he was a-meetin' you here today
To take you to his mansion in the sky-eye?

She's forty-one and her daddy still calls 'er "baby"
All the folks 'round Brownsville say she's crazy
'cause she walks downtown with her suitcase in her hand
Lookin' for a mysterious dark-haired man

In her younger days they called her Delta Dawn
Prettiest woman you ever laid eyes on...

RAAAWWAAAAHHHRRRRR!!! (approximation of T Rex roar...)

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Okay. I Give Up.

Went to the OP last night, formerly the favorite watering hole of cool folks like me in B-town. Only problem? It's gotten popular! How did that happen? I used to love the OP for the lack of crowds... all of a sudden, college students have infiltrated the bar! Now, hopefully they'll all leave for the summer, and maybe the place will get back to normal by the end of May. I hope so. Because... well, while it was nice to see so many girls at the bar, it wasn't so nice dealing with the moronic males following those girls into the OP. AND... huh, maybe it's me, but it seems like many of these freshly minted 21 year olds are incredibly shallow. Just the products of consumer driven, media and tech saturated childhoods, I suppose, the evil spawn of the equally shallow Baby Boom generation.

BUT that's not what I wanted to go into here.

Nope. It does lead me to my main subject. As I ogled the many young women in the bar last night, I realized I'm done. I give up. I'm not suddenly turning gay or something, or even practicing celibacy to make a point, but I am through playing the games it seems to take to "hook up" with a woman these days. Not that I was ever any good at THOSE games. I've always felt like I never got the memo. Never got the instruction book that seemed to make meeting and dating girls look so easy for the other guys. I've had some serious girlfriends, mind you, but they were usually agressive enough to make the first move, or suggestion.

You see, I've realized that when it comes to interpersonal communication between guys and girls, I AM AN IDIOT. I'm kinda smart about a lot of things. Except this. I don't pick up on the non verbals, I don't "get" it when a girl shows interest, I don't even know what the "first move" is, never mind how to execute one. Yup, when it comes to relationships with women, Me Am A Moron.

So, I'm writing this post to put it in writing somewhere, even if noone reads it. It's kinda been my policy anyway. I give up.

I don't blame anyone else for this but myself. I'm an unnattractive, introverted dude who looks like late 20s but just turned 40. I've never dated any girl longer than 8 months. I'm bitter after numerous betrayals and breakups (one girlfriend fucked a roommate years ago, that was fun). I've got self esteem issues. Clearly. All of which adds up to a really attractive package, huh? With so much baggage, I'm pretty much figuring I'm a lost cause. So this is my "I Give Up" on trying to get into a relationship manifesto post. Put the proverbial fork in me. I'm done.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Tryin' Google AdWords

I'm trying out the Google "AdWords" Program to try to sell my books. I've taken out ads for both 'Vatican Assassin" and "Holy Shit: Or Pat Robertson Is The Anti Christ". I'll let you know if they work...

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Monday, April 10, 2006

Just Finished Reading: "The Lucifer Principle" by Howard Bloom

"The Lucifer Principle" is a fascinating examination of human history, of what motivates we human beings to do the things we do. Howard Bloom looks back through history and examines our need to compete, the actions of human groups, and the motivating factors that drive human existence. "The Lucifer Principle" is comprised of three combining factors: The Superorganism, The Meme, and Pecking Order.

For those who wonder about the "Lucifer" in the title: The book is not a magic oriented text, nor is it "occult" in any sense, other than the fact that these motivating forces have not actually been brought to light with such clarity of vision before, and so have been "hidden", ie "occulted". The "Lucifer" referred to is the devil that exists in us all, as a result of these factors.

New Blog Now Loaded up with Reviews

Scroll Down, Scrowl Down, my faithful ones, for to read the fine words of the reviewers of my books...

Seven Days: The Passion of the Assassin

Margot Harrison covers both VATICAN ASSASSIN and HOLY SHIT: in Seven Days:

Seven Days: The Passion of the Assassin

Shining a light on an antichrist

The Vermont Guardian covers "Holy Shit..."

Shining a light on an antichrist

Las Vegas Weekly: Arts & Culture: Comics

Nice Review from Sin City, too (by J. Caleb Mozzocco):

Las Vegas Weekly


Great Review from Troy Brownfield:


Comic Book Resources - Comic Book News, Reviews and Commentary - Updated Daily!

Steven Grant Reviews "Holy Shit..."
It's down around the middle of the page. Review is from February 8th, 2006 (in case the archive page doesn't load)

Comic Book Resources - Comic Book News, Reviews and Commentary - Updated Daily!

Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.

Lukewarm Love for "Holy Shit...":

(The review is about 2/3rds down the page)

Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.

First Post

It's a new blog!